Y’all. I’ve got lists for days. Lists of things that need to get done, and that get re-written week after week, moving one thing off and three things on. Lists for this crazy month of May, for June and the end of school, for the calendar of summer weekends that already feel like they are getting full. Books I want to read. Ideas I want to accomplish. Things to learn. Ways to continue to grow my business.
These lists can feel both powerful and daunting all in one. But one of my favorite coaches that I never met, Andrea Scher, shared an amazing blog about a new kind of list that is pure joy. She tells the story of writing love lists for a friend. Creating a love list includes:
Writing down 10 things you love about this person.
Telling them what you admire about them, what you appreciate, and why they inspire you (the more specific, the better).
Reading it to them in person, over the phone, or good ol’ fashioned snail mail.
Think of one person who needs to hear what their amazing talents and powers are. Could it be a friend, parent, colleague, mentor, student or maybe even you? What do you want them to see about themselves? What do you want to acknowledge about yourself?
Today, I’m going to take a moment to acknowledge and give love to something that is such a tiny and powerful part of who I am today: my angel baby who I hugged, loved, and started to deeply grieve 372 days ago. I have learned so much from a tiny little human who never breathed outside my womb, never walked, never hugged me back, but who has influenced and touched me in ways I still cannot fully articulate.
A Love List for My Angel Baby
You created a space for me to re-imagine my life, my purpose, my calling, and the gifts I could share with this world.
Thank you for teaching me the depths of a mother’s grief.The solidarity I have begun to feel with other mama’s who have lost is more powerful that I can say.
You have and continue to remind me that we know emotions in relation to one another.I know the depths of love because I know the darkness of grief. Without knowing love, I could never have known grief. How true is it that we often know happiness because we’ve known sadness, we know laughter because we know tears, and so many other feelings and emotions.
You helped me confront my authenticity; who I am, what I share, and how I am.I thank you for helping me be public with our love and loss, and introducing me to parents who have similar losses and are part of an exclusive club no one ever wants to join.Parents who get it, and some who have their own stories that sometimes haven’t been shared.I’m grateful for knowing these parents and in some cases, being one of the few they have shared stories of their loss(es) with. Thank you for teaching me the authenticity of sharing all of my story to create space for others.
For your fluttering and floating within me, for the gift of knowing your energy and life from very early on.I still smile when I remember that amazing feeling that only a mother can know.
Thank you for being the person who inspired me to lean into my passion for coaching and consulting, and who helped me find the bravery to leave the known of a big organization and career field and brace the wilderness of being a woman-owned small business.
You have showed me so much about kicking the sh*t out of plan b.
I have gotten so much more time and presence with your siblings because of what you helped me create.We’ve played in the dirt, laughed, read, been at school parties, and done so much more because you taught me to be present with them.
You reminded me to take things moment by moment.Sometimes the emotions are overwhelming.And I can breathe, acknowledge the emotion, and take one step at a time.I am often much stronger than I think or feel at the moment. You remind me of my strength every day.
Loved you once.Love you still.Always have.Always will.Love you angel baby.
Who do you need to do a love list for? And maybe love isn’t the right word for your list. Who needs to know that you see them? That you admire how they show up and honor their values? Their bravery? Their strength? Their authenticity? Maybe it’s a love list to yourself.
What people or situations do you need to see in a new or different way? What if you wrote your love list as an activity in re-framing and seeing something in refreshed light? It’s your turn. Try it out and let me know how it goes. Can’t wait to see the outcome! Sending loves to those of you reading this for your amazing support over this (almost) first year of this new adventure.